Journey through the sit that is UW-Madison
Over the next few weeks, I hope to be your guide to the wonderful world of Student Information Techonology web pages hosted by the good people at the UW. Basically, if you want a webpage and don't have server space, go to these guys and they will set something up for you... if you are a student, of course. The problem is, most people sign up for a page, then never actually bring it to fruition. So someone casually surfing through the list runs into a lot of 404 errors, or pages that simply haven't been made.

I'm here to separate the chaff from the wheat. Though if most of the pages are like mine, it's more like the chaff from the other chaff. We begin the tour with a few select sites from the letter Z. And the winner for the category: last name starts with Z, is... Walter Zhang!

More munitions for the verbose!
Since I haven't come across any outstanding links lately, I have fallen back upon the usual rants and raves that are the essence of a weblog. As of today, I am tenatively adding a new feature to the crapfest... word-a-day. Though I am sure that "a-day" will quickly turn into "a-whenever-I-remember", I figure I'll give it a go. Plus, I have a few favorites I want to get out there.

So, as the first word-a-day, I tip a hat to Larry, my hepped up friend from Interlaken, and nominate "ricocculus". Now here's the best part, I couldn't find the word in a dictionary, yet a google search turns up many uses of this word (in its variant spellings: recockulus, ricoculous, recockulous etc.) As I have always taken the meaning to be "unbelievably more so ridiculous than ridiculous" or something to that effect, I checked for root words. This brings up "cocculus indicus", which is a dried berry that was used to increase the intoxicating power of booze. Plus it was a violent poision.

In conclusion, first word-a-day: possibly not an actual word. I think I'm off to a pretty good start.

It's hot in herre
Hot enough for the second "r" in my humble opinion. It just so happens that last week, when it was freezing out, we asked Engineering Hall to turn up the heat a little in the lab so we wouldn't have to wear jackets and mittens all the time (becuase it's tough to aim a laser when you're wearing mittens). The hall gave us a prompt response in the form of Heat-cranking-up, which is normally something that we should be appreciative of. However, as is always the case, there is a twist in the plot of this little adventure. The heat-turner-upper guys must have felt bad that we were so cold that they decided to give us more heat that we could ever need (or consequently tolerate), thus leaving us in a perpetual state of sweatiness. In other words, it's a damn sauna in herre!

I think I'll start bringing shorts to work.

Like a mobius strip... without all the cutting and gluing
Pretty simple, yet addicting flash game here. Just connect the lines to make loops. And do it before the screen fills up.

Reason number 1432...
...why france sucks. (Why is france not capitalized? Because I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction.) Anyway, here is the definitive guide to france, and its sucktitude. (Though I have never actually been to france, so I don't know personally if it sucks, I do believe everything I read on the net... always, so if someone says it sucks, it must obviously do so.)

The incredible dancing Glen
Not much in the way of description for this one. Just roll your mouse over the guy and be prepared to seriously rock out... seriously.

Attention Mojo-jojo
Remember how I said that I was going to put up these sweet drawings of scientists that a bunch of seventh graders made? And then I didn't? Well hold onto your horses, cause here comes the best bunch of before and after scientist drawings by seventh graders that you have ever laid eyes on.

I would like to draw particular attention to a magnificent work by Andy. Notice, in the before picture, an image of a man so evil that he has a third, more eviler eyebrow, above his regular pair (also evil in their own right) of eyebrows. You just can't teach that.

Attention citizens of Temecula!
Remember kids, recycle... to the EXTREME!

Guess who?
Guess this person's name. Updated daily. You know, it kind of reminds me of the SNL sketch "Name that Dog". Except these are easier.

Stranded!
It's a good thing that I remembered to leave the lights on in the car when I went in to lab, otherwise I wouldn't find myself in the much enviable position of being stranded at engineering waiting for a jump. Boy am I lucky. Intelligent too. I think I'll go out and try to use my swarthy good looks to sweet talk some one into jumping my car.

Meanwhile, you can check out some of these online pool games by Fly or Die. I hear they beat the pants off Yahoo's.

Mappy map map
I think I might try to get my hands on one of these upsidedown maps.

Bus
Who wants to ride the short bus today?

Fundamentals of Hand Gliding
Here is the definitive guide to hand gliding. Personally, I like to throw the hand glide right into the wave combo. Sometimes working with the passenger for a successful glide/wave/glide combo from driver side window to passenger side window.

New Commenting System
I am trying out a new commenting system for the page. Hopefully it will load a bit faster and work better. And, more importantly, won't say poseurs. I think that is what I hated most about the last system. Some jerk made everyone's page say poseurs.

Jerk, I know you're out there. I'd come after you but I am too lazy and stupid. So take that. Anyway, try out the new schwag and tell me what you think. Oh, and it has smiley faces and, my personal favorite, angry faces.

A superhero for the new Millenium
Remember kids, whether you're helping out around the house, surviving an earthquake or just playing with the family gun collection (Unload gun each night by firing into ceiling, counting each bullet in screamed German.). Let Captain Safety show you the right way to be safe.

Ahoy ye Mateys!
Apparently this guy doesn't watch enough Pirates of Dark Water.
Thanks Mark!

It's peanut butter jelly time!
For all of you who have loved it in the past, and all of you who are new to the great banana Al has sent in this link.

i have no idea how to contribute a new link,

but i'm sure many of you fans are under the impression that nothing could bring more pleasure to their day than a banana...i thought so too. but i found out that i was wrong.

also, if your a fan of the pbj time, there is a remix floating around out there.

I am going to open an art gallery
Thanks to the good folks at GE, my artwork can be brought to life (much like light bulbs and polluted rivers). Just remember to use your imagination, and mouse.

So, I now present to you... "Hey guys! I'm wearing pants!"

ATTENTION!
If you are reading this, and wondering "Why hasn't CJ been updating?", try going to www.scienceandcrap.blogspot.com instead of just scienceandcrap.blogspot.com. For some reason everything is all screwed up, and you need to have the www. Also, the archives won't update. I don't know why. That's all for now.

Beware the Elftor
And a better name for a comic strip lead could not be found. Behold, the mythical adventures of Elftor... in comic form. Be dazzled and amazed as Elftor takes on street thuggs (extra "g" for emphasis added) with the help of his homies.

Return of the Evil Bear
Looks like your friendly neighborhood artist Chak is really making a name for himself (of course by "neighborhood" I mean "other country"). Check out his homepage for some violently cute backgrounds and images. Here are a couple of my favorites.

Farewell to a nice fittin pair of pants
As an avid reader of the (somewhat) regularly updated Mister Pants site, I was pretty saddened to see that it will not be updated for the next year. Looks to me like a hiatus is at hand for the man that gave us the quote "Tip for getting food in stomach... use mouth hole".

So, make sure when your pouring one out for your homies tonight, that you pour one out for the pants as well. And if you have never been to the sight, take a few minutes to look around.

Smells like Yodog in here
What's Yodog you ask. Yes my friend, what's yodog with you. Nothing like the obligatory Star Wars parody with Yoda being a party animal Jedi to get you through your day. Maybe George Lucas should take a few notes. Couldn't hurt.

Dance Dance Revolution Fever
For those people that live in caves (Michigan) there is a new game sweeping the nation. It's called Dance Dance Revolution, or DDR for the Revolution savy folk. Here's a quick look into the side-effects of avid DDRing. This is actually CJ after a furios DDR session on Saturday night. CJness

(ed. note: This picture is actually CJ if by "actually" one means "not actually"... however, through an arduous amount blood sweat and tears, may I someday hope to achieve a tenth of the greatness that this young man has achieved)

Maybe they found Tunnel Bob
So, there are all these big underground steam tunnels throughout the Madison campus that supposedly link every building together in kind of an underground maze web type thing. And there is this guy that lives down there named Tunnel Bob. As reported by competent sources, the TB likes two things: playing laser tag and drawing pictures. Though possibly not in that particular order.

So, if you ever get the chance to go down into the tunnels below Engineering Fountain, tell me what you see. I bet it's either crazy pictures or a C.H.U.D. And if you don't ever get the chance, you can always live vicariously through these guys.

BZZZZZZ! "Who is Ursula Andress?"
No Connery, I'm sorry but you are incorrect. And you wagered?

You've Got Questions. We've Got Methusula.
I have been really working hard to get the Old Testament Bible Slang going stateside. I would like to make a point of letting you know that it is not very big in Germany right now either. And you don't want to be be like the Germans do you? So spread the word. In case you need help, here are some handy slogans for you to get started with. Of course my personal favorite is still "That food in the back of the fridge is so Methusula'd that it's growing it's own beard."

Traffic stories... without all the drugs
There is a nice little site out there that some guy built to talk about his experiments as a "traffic dynamicist". SCIENCE HOBBYIST: Traffic Waves, physics for bored commuters

By the way, the camera that I ordered finally came, so when I figure out where to host the pictures (and how to take the pictures) I will let everyone know. And by everyone, I mean all three of you who read this crap.

Puertorican Eye Disease...
Just one of the topics I plan to explore in my new project on lucid dreaming. I'm working on a short film idea with a visual effects dude. It could be pretty sweet. This guy works for the good folks that did all of the visual fx for Swordfish. Bad movie, good fxs. It could be the first Evil Fish Empire Production since I've moved to LA. Hopefully I'll be able to follow it with my children's book featuring Sean Combs called P. Diddy. Did He...? Every two or three pages will put good ole Diddy in a new situation he may or may not have done. For example, P. Diddy. Did he pee? Man, that's gonna be a good book.

A little Hometown Somethin'

I just gotta give props to myself for having my town of current residence featured on memepool today. I RULE!

From memepool.com 1-10-03
Lost in Appleton is the latest in a series of web comics about mythical Appleton and its many colorful denizens.

Home improvement indeed.
Just in case any of you were wondering (and I know you were), here is what you get as the first result when you type in "old people bacon" into Google's image search.

Imperialism at its best!
Twas a fine day today, as I have officially annexed the desk of Amy. It shall be noted that the note of post-it was placed as an official marker of said annexation to the non-profit organization of TractorInc on this day, the 10th of January 2003.

I figure it's like a lost and found item. If she doesn't claim the desk back in two weeks I get to keep it. So, Amy, if you're reading this, you better get back here pretty soon.

Pent up aggression? No problem!
Why not shoot away your troubles with patented shoot it! (.org) Feel your worries and stress melt away with each passing round. Remeber, if you don't have any pictures of whatever is currently frustrating you, give one of these a whirl.

TRON!!!!!
Man oh man, this is sweet. No, more than sweet, it's TRON! Online! In 3d! You can either play by yourself, or you can play multiplayer. I got rocked solo, but it can be pretty easy on multiplayer depending on who else is there. It's like a rave, but deadly.

Because ABBA weren't available for comment
Hey Pardners! Rustle up the guitar, cause we're gonna have an Indigo Girls sing-a-long round this here campfire. You damn hippies.

Listen up!
Click here to get to the RIAA class action lawsuit site. Fill out the relevant info and wait for your twenty bucks to arrive in the mail. If too many people file and the payouts per person are too small, then the RIAA will donate the payout to a charity. Works out pretty well. And requires minimal effort (I'm looking your way Stew).

Man, I love traffic
Here is a pretty spectacular online version of that game where you move the little red car around trying to get it out of the parking lot. Except now you don't have to worry about ever losing the pieces. And it resets easier.

Fighting, filing, waring... so silmilar, yet each so special.
Nonetheless, each is also unstoppable. Unlike my foosing technique, which is, by its very nature, entirely stoppable. Sometimes even reversible.

Author Blog?
This is a pretty neat look at William Gibson, author of many favorite Sci-Fi books. Maybe weblogs are the future of writing, no?

Relativity for the masses
And of course, by "masses" I mean "me". Either way, explaining relativity using words of only four letters or less is pretty cool. (Though on a technical note, I did manage to write this whole blurb using words of only 10 letters or less. And everyone knows that 10 is much cooler than 4, due to its larger size and binary connotation.)

Might as well start the new year off strange...
Well, Happy New Year. From me to you. And of course from Trevor Van Meter to you... here's a cartoon.