Swap-tac-ular!
Alright, we need one more person to make this swap worthwhile (the number of people needed based upon arbitrarily chosen numbers). So, if you haven't said you're in, do so. And that means you - Stew. And you - Randy. And you - Randy and Stews Friends. So get moving. And you - Hoj. Don't think I forgot about you.

I'm 48% snob.
And damn proud of it. I figure it's the PBR that's bringing my ratings down, but you will have to excuse me now as I am off to watch some Polo with Muffy in the Hamptons. So... how snobbish are you?

This could be good
Mostly, because it combines my love of reading with my love of doing anything that's not reading. Mainly, playing video games. Behold.

CD Swap-o-Mania!
All of this work on the upcoming "Volume Pat" record got me thinking. Why don't we do a good old-fashioned mixed tape swap, updated for the new millenia through CDs. So here's the deal, if there is any interest.

Each contributor makes three copies of a mix CD with whatever they would like to put on it. I recommend anything but the new White Stripes record. If I have to hear "Seven Nation Army" one more time I may just shoot myself (or complain some more, as that tends to be easier and has the added bonus of being less permanent). When everyone has three copies made, they get mailed out to other people through our good friends at the USPS. Then begins the listening. Then commences the listening.

That pretty much sums it all up. Let me know if there is any interest at all, and I can organize it if there are enough people. I'm thinking that five would be a minimum. But I would settle for four. No less though, you bastards.

Who's getting belay certified?
I'm getting belay certified! And to honor this special occasion, I present some quality climbing links from around the web. Everything from quicktime videos (or flash 6 if you please) to buildering. And by everything, I mean those two sites.

If you're not from around here, I like to head over to Boulder's Gym to hurt myself.

So this watch... it vibrates?
I really, really want this watch. Mostly because I am a tech geek, but also because I secretly want to be Dick Tracy. That guy had a watch that he could talk into. How cool is that? (Answer: Pretty cool) If only they sold it with a leather band... and a detachable laser.

Man I have a lot of crap to post today
One final one before I head off to discussion (semiconductor physics anyone? anyone?) A list of Japanese themed seldomly asked questions. Whether you want to know which train is the most popular line for jumping in front of or why anime characters have freakishly large eyes, it's all in there.

(via the geisha baby!)

Songs for the Masses: Volume Pat
As happenstance would have it, I have decided to make a mix CD consisting entirely of songs by artists with the name Pat (or variation thereof) and songs that incorporate the word Pat. I have decided to call it "Volume Pat" and will update with more information soon. If any famous (or not-so-famous) songs come to mind, send 'em my way.

Philantropy through blog traffic
Remember when I went back home for New Year's and met up with bunch of old buddies? No? Hmmm. Anyway, my friend Tom co-authors an online comic at Daily Ramblings called Mr. Cornelius Watercloset. I propose you hop over there and take a look at it. You know, I had an idea for a comic once. It was called "Chuckles the Daschund". I had a strip drawn up and everything, plus it incorporated a wicked Nixon joke. Of course the whole project was scrapped when it dawned on me that it would require actual work to continue to draw the comic.

Plus I don't know how to draw.

Wisconsin... haven for the hip
Looks like a trend is in full effect, and I am going to have to start drinking a different beer so I am not associated with all of those hipster-dufus types. I was thinking Pig's Eye, or maybe even Pig's Eye Ice. Of course, there is always Point. Any other suggestions? (Remember to keep in mind the reasons for starting on PBR in the first place: it's cheap, it's available, McCord told me to drink it.)

The six dollar t-shirt.
First came the six dollar burger, now behold the greatness of the six dollar t-shirt. So, this site vectorgun is selling really cool silk-screened t-shirts of a robot made out of urban sprawl. Who says that strip malls aren't good for anything these days? Answer: no one. Because they can be used to make giant robots. Oh and by the way, this offer includes shipping and handling. So spread the word. (Though not too much, if everyone had it, it wouldn't be cool anymore)

(The previous statement is based upon the fact that the author assumes wearing this t-shirt makes one "cool".)

Who likes the moon?
The spongemonkeys do - that's who. In fact they like it even more than cheese, drigibles and forks. Which is saying a lot. And even though the spongemonkeys are good, they will never, and I mean never, top the greatness that is the kittens.

I know that last link is a repeat, but I just like it so much.

For those who endorse pickle parties...et al.
Let everyone know where you stand with these solid t-shirt choices.
That should make up for all the blogs I write without links.

Crazy neighbor's boyfriend.
Or, maybe it would read better as neighbor's crazy boyfriend, since I have now been summarily accused by him of knocking on his door during the day and running away. To which I responded with a hearty "Are you crazy?". I then answered for him - "yes!" I added the exclamation point for emphasis, but figured it was warranted.

Mr T. and other crazy adventures
I figured that, after the stress of coaching a cartoon gymnastics squad, Mr. T would have had enough of television. However, I was wrong. Just the other day I caught the T hawking telezappers on QVC. Plus, every article of clothing he was wearing seemed to be sewn from american flags. Nothing says buy my patriotic telezapper like a salesman who looks like he tore down your flag from outside and made a toga from it (complete with matching do-rag). My favorite line from the spiel - "Zap those illegal calling jibba-jabbas with this here zapper. Cause it's ILLEGAL!"

So say'th the T.

Jumping Snakes! Jimmeny Crickets!
So Engineering Expo is happening right now, and I don't know if I have ever seen so much teen angst crammed into such a small area. Poor kids, being forced to learn about science, when simply learning to keep their hands out of their pockets should be enough. Oh well, here's a snake jumping game. Try to beat 15K suckas.

A little excitement for Friday
Hippo Girl - the life, the music, the art. Complete with a full line of references to teeth, fungus and jackals. Crank it up!

Cowboy names
If you had two guys, one named Cowboy Ted and the other named Cowboy Andy, and you wanted to invite them over for ice cream, would you address the invitation "To Cowboy Ted and Andy" or "To Cowboy Ted and Cowboy Andy"? I mean, they're both cowboys, so I figure the second cowboy title would be implied, but on the other hand, you never want to piss off a cowboy by not referring to him as such.

Bow down to the great Don Smith
RULER OF THE INTERNET

The ups and downs of using a public restroom
I'm not a huge fan of public restrooms; they tend to smell funky, and they lack the necessary reading materials for when one is settling in for the long haul. But, not everyone is a camel, so they are a necessity. I think what bothers me the most is the lack of hand-washing that some people resort to. Or even worse is the guy who needed some paper towel to dry his hands but never actually washed them. I hate having to follow that guy out of the door.

Spice Things Up, RI Style.
I believe it's time for Stew to try something new. Rhode Island is suffering a serious drought of excitrocity. I think he should start the day by shoving raw chicken breast into his shorts every morning. (the boneless ones.) And perhaps a different Mr. Yoshida sauce for each day of the week. He'd probably have a pretty sweet new walk. (which he needs, because his current walk is weak, like a four year old child with a wicked case of rickets.)

I'm sorry. Did you say Bort?
No, my son is also named Bort. Of course, if you were named something even cooler like Scott or Phil, you would have an entire store of crap with your name on it.

On par with Saddam
You know, those crazy Green Bayers always come up with the best ideas. Who would have thought that combining Saddam with golf would bring so much joy to so many people's lives.

Hipster know-how
Apparently the new trend in the hipster-dufus world is ironic quaffing, and many trendy type folks are now seen in upscale bars imbibing PBR. To them I say "fuzzah!", and ask "What about those that actually enjoy the cool refreshing and crisp taste of America's number one beer?"

So, next time you pony up to the bar, be it in L.A. or Appleton, in you most un-ironic voice possible, order a PBR (and maybe some bacon) with pride. Because, if it's good enough to wear the blue ribbon, dag nabit, it's good enough for me.

Link-o-rama!
Since I haven't had time to update the page in awhile, I guess I will just have to dump a whole crap load of links on you at once. Starting with an easy and readable guide to your Fox News blonde brigade. Following that up with the completely unrelated (but no less amusing) "how to dress emo". Why? Don't make me tell you, it's too sad of a story, and I'm just all cried out right now. Finally, rounding out the miscellany with a succinct listing of police codes and abbreviations. Because emo guys hitting on Fox News anchors never leads to good things.

Yeah, 10-78. We got a 10-91D over here.

Magic!

From the mystical realms of some guy's apartment England comes the incredible Mind Reader. Though, with great genius also comes great crap.