Lazy, like yesterday's pants
Perusing through the paltry selection of blog entries on this site, I realized that I have not stepped up to the task of keeping a regular update posted. I tend to blame the man, or the weather, or (most likely) television. In fact, I would like to think that spending time reminiscing about some of the greatest soliloquies ever to come across the small screen carries far more precidence than typing, or doing anything else for that matter. In case you don't agree with me, I present Exhibit A: a concise summation of Skeletor's Soliloquy from 'Master's of the Universe' the movie. On a side note, even though it was originally released in theaters, I think it can only be fully appreciated on the USA channel at three pm on a Saturday afternoon. It never, ever should have been subjected to the horrors of the letterbox format.

Who got written about by the famous Paul Ryan?
Me... that's who. Aside from being only one degree of freedom away from meeting Bruce Valanche, this has to be the closest I have ever come to being famous. And rightly so, have you seen the worthless crap that I write. Not good at all, not even as good as yesterday's Marmaduke comic. Did you catch that by the way? All I can say is "solid".

So, aside from my complaining, I would like to take this moment for a gratuitious plug of Daily Ramblings. It is a pretty damn funny site... except for the comic. That sucks. (Unless you're reading this and your name is Tom... then replace the previous line's 'sucks' with 'is totally awesome'.)

To keelhaul or not to keelhaul...
An answer to this proverbial question may never be agreed upon. I was speaking with my friend Stew the other day when the topic of Space Pirates came up. Now, I have always been a fan and ardent supporter of said pirates, but I do believe they have on major shortcoming... they aren't Space Ninjas. If major tracts were to be released at the same time, one dealing with Space Pirates and one dealing with Space Ninjas, the ninja tract would quickly develop the largest following hands down. 'Why is this?' you ask. Because ninjas are simply cooler than pirates. Hands down. Or up for that matter. Of course, not everyone agrees with me.

A Nickname...Reanalyzed.
So apparently in England and Austrailia they have a slang word for toilet that corresponds with a nickname of a certain history major I know...BOG. It can be used as follows: "Man, I've got to find a bog before I mess myself." So next time you tell me ,"I'm going to hit the bog." make sure I know which one. Since one would be funny and I would like to see it (when you punch Brian), while the other one would be neither.

Balls balls balls... balls
As they say in the intro - "What do you want? A good story or a good game?" I choose good game.

The Matrix Reanalyzed
So I went and saw the Matrix Reloaded last night and I would have to say it was pretty good. I didn't care for the way they ended it, but it is the second in a trilogy, so I have to give them some slack. It had some excellent diatribes on metaphysics and that got me to searching on the web for a good analysis/review. So here it is. From your good friend Corporate Mofo. It should be noted that this does contain many spoilers, so if you haven't seen the movie yet you can read about it here instead.

Toads for tots
See if you can frighten the toad. If you know what I mean. (Hint: I mean, scare it)

Swap-tac-ular Update!
Here's the scoop - The swap ends tomorrow (for all those involved), so go to the site and get more information about sending the discs, posting the playlists and making the merry.

Whoopity-whoo! I'm back!
Last weekend was camp-tac-ular! I would have to say that a good time was had by all... especially if you take 'all' to mean 'me'. Plus, we got to eat a lot of Dairy Queen. On our way back we went through a town that not only had a Dairy Queen, but also had a Dari King just a few blocks away. Makes me wonder how something like the King can exist without getting sued or something.

Since the fishing was crappy (unless you count the four times I snagged trees on shore), we played a bunch of frisbee golf. We also played some pretty technical games of bocce... complete with obstacles. Because no game of bocce is complete without having to throw the ball between the wheels of a moving automobile. Oh, and the highlight of the trip was seeing a giant stinky dead beaver from the canoe. Good times.

I have pics from the trip, but I probably will never actually get around to posting them, since I tend to have a track record showing such behavior to be fairly consistent in the past.

This is why I love public transportation
I mean, I only get to hang out with my cool Kendell Street Friend who stares at people and throws hissy-fits when they are in his favorite seat. But this guy, he gets to hang out with a whole crew of people that are far more hate-able.

Ninjas are cool
So I was doing a quick google search on Ninjas and came across the site for the Ninjas in Pyjamas. Apparently they are a CounterStrike (video game) clan. Quite possibly the world's number one Clan. At least, they say so. Plus, they look tough in their pictures.

Who's up for camping?
Answer: me. Right after work today, I am off for the annual memorial day camping trip. It should be good times. This however, means no updates for about a week. Although, it is not as if you as a reader would be missing too much anyway.

So, here is something to do whilst I am gone. It is a solid game, just make sure you click around on absolutely everything.

Go ahead... blend my fish.
Those wacky Danes - with their fish blending and crank smoking.

Code Name: World's Crappiest Toy
Ahh the Airzooka, shoots blasts of air from a conviently held cannon that is compact enough to fit into the bed of a small truck. Combine that with the sturdy construction materials known as "plastic" and "other type of plastic" and you have got yourself a toy that can garner seconds, even minutes of fun. I mean, come on, it shoots "concentrated balls of air"? Why not just blow on people when they aren't looking... or wave a fan at them. Ooohhh, look out everyone, it's scary fan guy!

Swap-o-mania pushed back one week!
All right, since your's truly dropped the ball and will be out of town over the swap period, the offical swapping due date is now a week from this Wednesday (the 28th). So be prepared to post your playlists then and have your swapping materials ready.

CJ + sore throat = wussy little crybaby
Man, I am furiously sick these days. I wouldn't think that it would be possible to be sick, given the great weather and all, but I guess I can find a way to do just about anything. Hopefully, I will be better in time to whoop it up on the annual Laura Ingels Wilder Camping Extravaganza. Oh, buddy...

Hey Bog. Where's my damn birthday gift? (oh, and happy graduation
Hey Bog - remember when you said "I am going to give you the greatest birthday gift ever." And then I said "Cool. What is it?" And then you said "I just have to go get it. You'll get it soon."

Yeah, that was back in February. Since then I have been running some numbers. Counting the birthday gift I got you and the graduation gift I got you (two gifts total) and dividing by the birthday gift you got me (zero gifts) I come up with a ratio of CJ to Bog gifts equal to infinity. Man, I love math.

Anyway, happy graduation... jerk store.

Somebody get this freaking duck away from me!
I was walking across the parking lot at lab the other day and I saw this duck diving for food in a puddle. Since the puddle was only about 5 inches deep, he could't dive too far, but either way it was pretty cool. I wonder if he was trying to find that piece of gum I spat out the other day?

A new Jedi is among us
You know, you never know if that crazy kid at school is exactly that or really a Jedi in training.

The T is everywhere these days
I remember a time not so long ago when Mr. T had resigned to selling Tele-zappers over QVC to millions of stay at home moms and late night Star Trek geeks. But my friends, it seems those days are but a distant memory to our old pal T, who has embarked on a newfound (and joyously fulfilling) career as a professional storm chaser.

So, before you go out and start filming plastic bags being whipped up into a frenzy by small gusts of wind, take a lesson from the T to make sure you do it right.

Who says procrastinating on the internet doesn't pay?

I say it pays 'bout fifty bucks.

Life, love and the Turing Test
Long Bets is one of the neatest concepts that I have ever come across. The idea is that people make (charitable) bets based upon the long-term outcome of a prediction. Everyone from Ray Kurzweil to Ted Danson has logged on and spouted off. The really great thing is that almost all of these bets deal with long-term scientific inquiry - e.g. whether the universe will ever stop expanding or whether a machine will ever demonstrate human intelligence. Though, for the record, I would have to side with those that say machines will never reach the intelligence levels of humans. I think it's that whole concept of 'self awareness' that is going to put a wrench in computational advancement. Then again, the tag line for this site is a quote from Short Circuit.

Say Chowder Frenchie
Ahoy, ahoy. It looks as if the Gorillaz aren't the only cartoon band on the block. The french have a little cartoon crew of their own. It's called One-T. He kind of reminds me of Parappa, turn to the right turn to the left now brake brake brake. My buddy is the voice of Nine-T, the ghetto dweller whose nights at the bar always end in a brawl. Check out his vocals on the hit song "what the deal with Nine-T". Too bad he didn't come up with doorhinge.

The writing exercise to end all writing exercises
When I was reading an article by Paul last week (or was it two weeks ago?) I was reminded of a site I had started going to back in the fall. It is called one word and deals with exactly that. You have sixty seconds to write whatever pops into your head when you see the given word. For instance, today's word was "hold". I wrote:

"Hold it right there!" How the hell did you get those pleats so straight? I mean, that's cordouroy for crying out loud. Have you ever actually tried to iron that? Seriously... what's your secret?

Why did I write this? Probably because I am wearing pants today. But maybe there is something much darker (well, no, probably not, I don't tend to be that deep of a person). Anyway, give it a try. At least when you get done you get to read what everyone else wrote. And somedays it seems that everyone drank a little too much from the big-cup-o-angst when they woke up that morning. Those days are my favorite.

Where'd all my stuff go?
And by my stuff, of course I mean "other people's stuff that I was using as if it was my own". I went down to the WisCAM lab today to take some electrical measurements on my samples, and the entire room that was once full of computers and AFMs and big honking chemical indentifier thingees was completely empty! I almost crapped my pants, and the pants of the guy standing next to me. Luckily, it turns out that the equipment was just moved upstairs.

You know, I should really write a letter to someone complaining about something.

Word Freak.
In my free time lately, I have been playing Scrabble online at games.com. Though I think that some of the people there are using an online dictionary or something. I mean, who actually scores over a thousand points in a single four minute game? Recoculous. I have been studying up on my odd words though.

Look at me! I'm Bill Dance.
I think I'm going to get to work designing the world's most effective carp lure. Though I haven't decided if I want it to look like an old beer bottle or a botulism ridden can of tomato sauce.

Deep Thoughts from Pat to you
Of course by "from Pat" I mean, "that Pat has shown us but were really written by some other guy". All in all, it is good to see that they have my personal favorite on there, the one about Grandpa and the tadpoles. Pure comic genius, that one is.

Thanks Pat!

Nude no more!
So goes the tagline for theadless.com. I figured since it was summer, it would be appropriate to start covering up my glaringly white skin from the onslaught of UV. And if you have to cover up, why not do it in style. The best part about it is that I can combine my fear of the sun with my love of science.

Killing time... and brain cells
Since my exam isn't until 7:30 tonight, I am stuck in studying purgatory, to late to crank through anything new, but no longer really wanting to review stuff again for the millionth time. Thus, I surf the web and listen to Ted Leo and the Pharmacists.

:Mission... deep impact
NASA is sending a probe to a comet near you, and you can get your name on a CD that will be crashed into the surface... for free. Plus, they give you this really cool certificate. And the program is called Deep Impact. Which is far better than the alternative title of Armageddon.

Ohhh... my friggin patella.
While I was climbing today, some random guy asked me to belay for him. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but he then busted out a lead rope. Lead ropes are needed for lead climbing, where one clips in on the way up the route. Belaying for someone who is leading is not nearly as straight forward as just keeping someone from falling on a top rope, becuase the lead climber can take pretty big potential free falls before the rope catches them. Now having said all this, I tell the guy that I have never belayed for someone who is lead climbing. Then he says "Well I can show you real quick," and I say "Are you nuts?".

I guess there really isn't a point to this story other than that I apparently look like a guy capable of being trusted with one's life even though I was adiment about pointing out that I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Some people really just like to climb... and are possibly crazy.

Oh wait, I just remembered the other point of this story. I wanted to work in the word 'patella', which I never did. Except for just now.

DVD eggs (a little late though)
Since I have been watching so many movies lately, I figured I would see if there were any extras I was missing. Turns out there are. Also turns out most of the extras are crap. Damn you Hollywood!

Doing me a little computer-detectin' work
Since I pretty much know everyone who visits this site, I was suprised to find in my referrer logs a link from rootblog.com. Upon further investigation, which involved clicking on the referrer link, I have determined that rootblog is some sort of clearing house for links from recently updated blogs. This means, my weblog was most likely just crawled by some program to check for any new posts. So, Mr. Blog-crawling robot man... thanks for reading.

The return of WATHPSFTIPOSWIQ!
I think that, in the spirit of the title of this blog, this evenings WATHPSFTIPOSWIQ needs to be scienced up a little. Thus, I present for you utilizing pleasure (which, incidently is my favorite way of fancying up the word "using") patella. Use it, but don't abuse it, my friends. Oh, and hug a thug for me.

word.

Farming 101
You know it's fake because the hat isn't mesh. Catchy soundtrack though.

My titles are too damn long
Since none of them fit on one line when I look at the page from my laptop. Of course, I shouldn't really care about this, but anytime I can avoid studying to work on meaningless formatting issues that will never be solved is a good time in my opinion.

The Angry Fist ain't just for the elderly anymore
Mess with Scribe, you get the angry fist. Check out the old Al in the "Angry Fist" picture from the photo list. Right now the Al is hanging out in Venice with a bunch of architecture geeks (from Vandalay Enterprises) having a good time and making buildings and crap. What does all this mean? That I am suprememly jealous (so much so that I added and extra 'm' to supremely). And for some reason, every time I look at the Angry Fist I get the feeling it is directed towards me. Jerk.

Did I ever tell you about the time I ate the really old burrito?
No? Good. That's one more crappy burrito story you didn't have to suffer through... like I suffered through that burrito and really hot sour cream.

One might (or more likely might not) ask, "But CJ, how can I remember all of these "rules" about "food safety" and "not eating week old burritos that have been left out on the counter?" To this I answer, "It's obvious dummy - food safety songs!" Hot damn!

You got spores on your plate
They'll incubate
There's trouble if you cross-contaminate

Microbes they might kill you
Microbes they might kill you

[cue guitar solo]

Mindless ebay insanity! Eat more ham sandwiches!
Though not so much is it that ebay is mindless, rather a certain person named andy46477 (du da dun!). With classic comments like "Has intestinal FORTITUDE!!! Eats PORTIONED meals!!! Enjoys NOURISHMENT!!!" and "Wow! This has to be the ROUNDEST coin I've EVER seen! Quite impressed. Thanks," andy46477 has been wowing audiences and idiots alike since 1999.

Finals have arrived...
And you know what that means, less meaningless drivel from yours truly for a few days. I am done on Sunday, and I have been saving up a crapload of links to throw up on the site, so until then... keep on keeping it. And figure out what "it" is. I( have a sneaky suspiscion that it's pants.)

Mega Happy Flash Battle!
What do you get when you comine flash animation, Nazi's ass kicking and some guy named Joe? Flash battling to the extreme! (Please remember not to stand too close to the screen)

Dogs with hats!
There is something intrinsically beautiful and touching about dogs with hats. Maybe it brings out feelings of deeply repressed joy. Maybe I just want a dog really bad. And that dog would wear a cowboy hat. The greatest made-for-dog cowboy hat ever invented.

When I was little
We didn't have cameras, and we had to walk both ways to school - uphill and carrying our pants so they wouldn't get snowy. And once I got hit by a snowplow. And I like starting sentences with the word "and". (I am starting a grammar revolution baby.) Speaking of baby, here are some crazy baby pictures of people. And some not so crazy ones.

Man, this is wierd.
I mean, it's just a bunch of pictures of mascots. Given the name of the site I would have thought that something dirty was going on, but maybe I am just missing the point. Maybe the whole "dressing up as a mascot" thing is the dirty part. Who knows (or even cares)?

Update on the CD Swap
Let's keep this on the Sub-rosa, but I have set up a site that will serve as the clearing house for all forthcoming swap-o-mania information. It is over at www.swapomania.blogspot.com. It's not pretty, but it will do the job nicely. So, start sending your comments over there fools.