I'm moving!
Hopefully, sometime next week, I will be moving this site to just plain 'ol www.scienceandcrap.com. Where there may or may not be dirty pictures of your Dutch Uncle. I'll keep you updated.

One more Googlism update...
Why? Because it is really, really funny. That's why.

Update on Gogglism/Forum Experiment
So far, so good. What follows is part of a conversation I joined regarding WMD.


MW: "Well, there weren't any weapons of mass destruction. Surprise surprise! Yet, 516 troops and counting are dead because George Bush lied and wanted any excuse to have a 'my dick is bigger than yours' contest with Saddam Hussein. And they thought Clinton getting a BLOW JOB was an impeachable offense???! I think this rises to the standard.

Me: Bush is not a steward, but Clinton is all wet about the digital divide.

PR: Seriously TractorInc, wait until the acid trip mellows before you visit this messageboard.

K: I'm gonna second that.

MW: Yeah, I just let that one go because I was, again, confused. I'm thinking the digital divide has something to do with the internet and people's access to it, but who knows. Dammit.


This is swass.

White bread and Toast
Poor white bread, always getting his cumuppance from the toast. Seriously funny comic strip here. In fact, it is so funny that, if you don't think it is funny, your stupid and ugly. And other people think you smell weird.

ExplodingDog has nothing to do with actual dogs exploding.
There, now that I have quelled your fears, go check it out. You give the guy a title, he draws you a picture. Simple as that. The site has been around for awhile, but it is brand new for people who have forgotten about it.

I like? I like!
I like! is a simple site that, if given a set of websites one enjoys, shows listings of other websites that may also be of interest. So far, it hasn't recommended me something that I haven't seen yet, but I also didn't explore it too deep. It is definitely worth checking out, and I am using the little bookmarklet to mark sites I like each time I log on.

Do you need good background music for your rock/paper/scissors battle?
Try "We are the Champions" by Queen.

I hate thinking of things at night.
Mostly because I don't have anything nearby to write on, save for Jess' back, and she usually doesn't like that too much.

I thought of these two wicked haikus last night, but I can't seem to remember any part of either. One dealt with the rules governing haikus and the other dealt with quantifying the number of syllables in the word "thppppbbbbbt". Hopefully, they will come to me today.

Rando recommends the Von Bondies
If anyone is around Madison on February 13th, the Von Bondies are playing a show in town. I won't be there, unless I can convince my pop's to go. I figure, he's a hip, happening guy, that shouldn't be a problem.

Add this one to the list
The list of "things funnier than Stew" has to be up to at least 258 items or so. This, by the by, is a parrot. I shall call him Parr-a-tor.

Baco Buddies
Way better than Vegie Tales, beause they pack the protein. Order yours today! Or, order one for your kid. Nothing says sleepytime like cuddling up to a big meat hunk.

DG to your mom
Rockpool games has a pretty sweet demo for some crazy kind of side scrolling golf action game spectacular. Good stuff.

Snap-tastic!
Remember when I said that Herv singing was the coolest thing that I had seen all day? Well, Herv just met his match... and his name is Bobby Badfingers... the world's fastest fingers. And he's a hardcore finger snapping machine.

This one goes out to the Hoj...
Hoj, Valentine's day is coming up, and I know you would want to get your lady something that is special, yet still holds true to your heartfelt beliefs. Oh, and is sexy. Well, here is just what you have been searching for my friend. The world's greatest Hoj given gift.

Racy Headstone? Check.
Lotto winner in Prince George, B.C. will use a bunch of his winnings to buy himself a sweet little tombstone. Maybe this is the start of a trend?

It's social experiment time!
I had so much fun with googlism yesterday that I decided to take it a step further. The forum over on DailyRamblings is ok but could use a little spicing up. Thus, I propose that from now until I tire of this experiment, I will only comment using phrases found via googlism. Will others realize what the crap is going on? Will they care? My answer to both is not likely.

Update on Captain Cannibal
Jake says:
Check out his picture. Could he BE any more German? I was thinking of inviting him over for dinner, he looks like he'd be a charming
conversationalist.

I would also like to add that the guy who was the eatee (not eater) was an engineer. Not all engineers like to be eaten, so don't go giving us a bad name based on one crazy.

Why do people have to fight?
I don't know, ask Herv. He may very well anser in verse. In a stern posture, with fist on hip, buy still vulnerable enough to let you know he is available for peace hugs. This is by far the best thing I have seen all day.

CJ is the magic webmaster... and a facial whore.
Don't believe me? Well, check it out for yourself, as verified by google. Incidentally, you can use googlism to check out what other's have been up to lately as well. I checked out all the people in my lab.

Manuel is not the only one who is fighting back tears.
Keith is an associate editor with model railroader magazine.
And, of course, Amy is pissed off and wants to leave.

You know, the instances when I can link off of a topic containing the word "whore" and not have that link to go something that your children are not allowed to view are few and far between.

Science... mesh in vein allows for stroke prevention
This article sounds fine, until the get to the part about how they actually insert the strainer. Through the groing. Yarrrgh.

You know, I haven't ever actually seen some of my friends' significant others...
Maybe this is the reason why. I mean, for twenty bucks you just can't go wrong.

Not much to update today
Just working my proverbial, prehensile tail off on the laser.

Oh, Hyperion, by Dan Simmons, is a good sky-fi book. And this is coming from someone who hardly ever reads the genre.

What a freaking day
1. Lab work all screwed up? Check.
2. Hamstring still hurting? Check.
3. Last one at work because I missed the bus? Chiggity-check.

Crap for crap.

Don't make me kick you neck.
Aww, forget it. So long coffin stuffers. Bender, Bender... Bender, Bender. This is a substitute, by the by, for today's DG.

Red Bull Crashed Ice... be there this February
Sure, I have only laced up skates a couple of times, but it shouldn't be a problem. I'll just get one of those big hamster bubbles for people. That'll show them.

Sweet Holy Crap!
The New Yorker can be funny. And not funny in the way it would be if someone were to rip off a classic Ziggy comic and repackage it as a New Yorker cartoon.

Doom... meet MyDoom
I have gotten at least three or four copies of mail probably infected with this virus since yesterday. Does that mean I'm more popular than you? Damn straight it does.

Slick Willy sells a car
Edmunds.com has a good article out where they sent in an undercover journalist to work as a car salesman. He learns the tricks of the trade and reports back to you, the reader. It is rather long, so I haven't had time to finish it yet, but so far, so good.

I want this tie
Yes. This one. Oh, and there are lots and lots of other cool original ties over at linefeed. Enough cool ties to get me to actually start wearing them.

Dude... Old School Qix
Check it out. Freaking tough is what it is. And if you get to put your name on the high score list, I highly recommend putting in BTO instead. That's what I do.

Merlin's list of five things
5ives is a site where Merlin lists things in categories like "Five words I choose not to recognize as verbs" and "Five controversial performers coming to your local library". Of course, if they are coming to Ashman library, the hippest library in Madison, they better be freaking hard core baby. Freaking hard core.

Seriously people...
Just because it is the coolest car in Wisconsin, nay the Midwest, that doesn't mean you have the right to attempt to meld your own car with it in some sort of freaky, symbiotic, car morphing stunt. It will not make your car any cooler, and the Focus already smells like paint fumes and doesn't need another trip to the body shop.

Proper Christmas Tree Teardown: 101
In case anyone is wondering, the best way to remove a Christmas tree, long since past it's prime, from a second story apartment is to simply throw it off the balcony. Then silently drag it to the curb, giving anyone who looks at you funny the stink eye... with extra stink.

I need a word that rhymes with "scoliosis"
Why? Because I am composing a rap song aimed at second graders, urging them to get their spinal curvature checked. Somebody needs to speak to these kids about spinal curvature in a language they can understand.

Update on Microsoft vs. MikeRoweSoft
Mike and Bill have settled their differences to the tune of a new website and an XBox. If he were smarter, Mike would have held out for a free XBox Live subscription as well. I mean, it's not like Bill can't afford it or anything. Especially since he is due to be Knighted soon.

*Thanks Jake

Live in LA
This was my week in music.

Thrusday night: telecast, Irving, Kennedy @ Spaceland.

this show was pretty rockin if I say so myself. Telecast was a good opener. Nothing I'd go out of my way to see, but entertaining. Irving was solid. One guy looks like he wants to be a beatle, another a beach boy, another a hard rocker, another an 80's synth pop, and the drummer's just smiling (happy to be in any kind of band.) They make it work, and they rock live. The disc is good, but I like them live much better. Kennedy just flat out rocks. He got wheeled to stage in a wheelchair and a fur coat and sunglasses that can only be described as awesome. After the first song he proceeded to strip down to green short shorts, knee high rainbow socks, and white beatle boots. For the last song he leaves stage during the guitar solo, goes behind the bar, grabs a bottle of sky vodka and chugs the whole thing on stage before finishing the song. The don't leave LA much, so if you even come hear, go see them.

Friday: some band, Self, and Ima Robot @ the Herny Fonda Theater.

don't remember a lot about this show. I think the bartender was slipping something into my Cokes. And I had a lot of Cokes. Three things I remember: Ima Robot was awesome (especially went I starting seeing double, thanks Jack; I was on the roof of the theater, and I called Al when I was on the roof.)

Saturday: The Decemberists @ The Echo.

The Decemberists were great. The girl rocked the accordion like there was no friggin' tomorrow. Enough said. If they come to your town and you like their music, you should go see them. They will entertain you.

I Demand more Crappy Science!
I don't even know how good this site is. I just needed a link to back up my rant.

Here's one for the playas
Andre 3000 vs. Charlie Brown. Replete with old school Snoopy. Be warned, it is a movie, but well worth downloading.

The Goth scene is for wimps.
Seriously... just ask this guy. He tells you all that and more, in comic book form! Which reminds me to go out and pick up the new edition of Alf pogs. Because Alf's back... in pog form!

Hit the Penguin... returns!
So, the other site that hit the penguin was on apparently went down. Probably due to too much traffic, though not from this site obviously. Ebaum's World has a copy of it up and running here. Try to beat 207.1... with no bounces.

Is NASA altering the color of pictures on Mars?
This guy seems to think so. Myself, I just don't know yet. That's why we need to ensure that one of the requirements for becoming an astronaut is a lack of color-blindness. Simple, yet often overlooked.

Look at me, I've got giant freak arms!
My question to you, Mr. Valentino... what the crap?

Robots... as far as the eye can see!
Tons and tons of pictures of old robots. This is cool. Oh, and sexy nurses.

Make the Nail Bleed
With your new Death Stick Hammer, the preferred hammer for goths, and straight-edgers around the world.

Problems? Just go ask your Dutch Uncle
Of all the images that come to mind when someone mentions that they just got back from visiting their Dutch Uncle, friend, guide and advisor don't necessarily spring to the front of the line.

The fumes in my car make me dizzy
The Focus is back in action ladies. I warned Jess that now I am going to have to fend off all the fine honeys that be flocking to the sweet, slicked-back stylings of a four door economy wagon. Oh yeah...

The only problem is that the interior of the vehicle still smells like the body shop. The fumes are starting to make me dizzy when I drive if for periods of time longer than twenty minutes or so. And it is too cold to roll down the windows and crank up the heater. I figure I will just keep airing it out at night, and everthing will be better.

You know what's cooler than hitting the penguin?
Getting the link so you can play the game online.

Hit the Penguin.
Note, I said, "Hit" not "Pound". Try to beat 316.6, because that's what I got, and I rule harder than O'Doyle.

Tiny PacMan Game
Today's DG is a tiny little fully functional pac-man game. It is pretty sweet.

Micro takes on Mike Rowe
www.MikeRoweSoft.com is the subject of hot debate between microsoft's Canadian lawers and Mike Rowe, a Canadian.

Car for sale
"May require some light interior cleaning." Hurry, it must be moved ASAP.

Time to break out the Crayons
Sans razors this time. Yep, they finally made a Law and Order coloring book that holds itself up to the nearly impossibly high standards set by its inspiration. Go get 'em Lenny.

Book Review: Odd Jobs
Odd Jobs: Portraits of Unusual Occupations, is a quirky little book that will take you about five minutes to read. Check it out from the library. In fact, don't check it out, just sit down in the middle of the aisle and read it. By the time someone gets fed up with you blocking your path and decides to say something about it, you will have finished your book and can move. Everyone wins.

Not only does it mark your books...
but is also gives you helpful advice on what to do if you happen to catch someone smuggling drugs, inside puppies... really cute puppies.

Scanner art pictures of flowers are cool
Katinka Matson takes pictures of flowers using her scanner. The results are etheral and creepy and beautiful all at the same time.

Just what I've always wanted
I have always, always wanted a picture of myself and Stevie Nicks painted just for me. And now there is finally someone who will do that for me.

Oh Yeah! It's nearly finished!
Everyone outside of Madison should be receiving a package with all of the Madisoneites discs within the week. If you haven't posted your playlist on the web yet, do so now.

Seriously, I have thoroughly enjoyed all of the discs so far, and I can't freaking wait to get the rest. This has gone, so far, sans hitch.

A couple of updates
1. You will notice the Rss feed button on the left hand side of this page. If you use a Newsreader, this will work with it to give you updated page information. Let me know how you like it. If people are having problems, I can try to dick with it.

2. All discs for the cd swap should be in the mail right now. Once I receive the packages from everyone else, I will give everyone in Madison their discs. If for some reason you didn't get a chance to fire them off today, no big deal. Send them on Tuesday.

3. Remember to update your playlists on the swapomania page this weekend.

4. Pozop.

This should get you through the weekend
The new Strong Bad email has four, count them, four games to play, as it was pointed out by D. Thanks D.

Autobots... roll out!
This is a pretty slick little CGI showing the Mazda RX8 transforming into a robot. I seem to remember Nike doing something like this a while back with a shoe. A car is better. And faster. And doesn't smell too funny after awhile.

Movie Review: Blade II
Blah. The only thing interesting about this flick was that one of the supporting actors had a lead role in the Boondock Saints, which was a fantastic movie. So, when you're out at Blockbuster looking in the B section for the next rental... keep going past the Ba's to the Bo's. You'll be pleasantly suprised. Unless you stop partway down the shelf and end up renting Beaches.

16 year old's everywhere rejoice!
The new version of the Prius out in Japan self-parallel parks. How cool is that? Pretty cool.

Just pick out the spot you want it to park using the tiny screen and camera provided, and it goes to it.

Cheap cameras for cheaper people
Can't afford a camera? Build your own! If anyone actually tries this, let me know. I think it would be swell.

Movie Review: Big Fish
Tim Burton's Big Fish is an absolutely beautiful movie. I loved every minute of it, and I sat in awe of the spectacular backgrounds and interesting characters. Freaking fantastic! Go see this movie. Now.

Daily Game...
Todays DG is called TwiddleStix. Before you get any ideas, it doesn't have anything to do with that kind of twiddling... or that kind of stick (or twig in some of your cases). Just move the stick through the pool without touching the sides. Enjoy.

The greatest show in the world
Is the Surreal Life. It's like the Real World, but it stars washed up B list celebrities. Put six people in a house together and film their every move. Except these people are the following: Tammy Fae (Baker) Messing, Vanilla Ice, Trischelle something from the Real World, Tracy Bingham, Ron Jeremy and Eric "Freaking Ponch" Estrada!

The following are things that I have learned about life, love and weirdos from the good folks at the Surreal Life.

- Vanilla Ice refuses to shop at places that don't carry his special sausage. And he believes that we are all offspring from aliens that came to earth eons ago.
- Ponch has the coolest t-shirt collection in the world. Evidenced by not only his Sealab 2021 shirt, but also his Luchadore shirt. Will we see more fantastic shirts in the future? We damn better.
- Ponch is a nice guy. Evidenced by his giving up his room to Tammy Fae.
- Tammy Fae likes to say "Crap". This makes her my second favorite character on the show.
- Tammy Fae has Frank Sinatra's organ in her house, but Ron Jeremy has had his organ in many things.
- Tracy Bingham has built herself up a nice comfortable life, thus it shouldn't be expected of her to take a bath in a raspberry colored bathtub. And she's evil.
- And she collects giant crazy doll heads and puts them on her dresser.
- And she refuses to take baths in tubs that use unfiltered water.
- The Ice freaks out whenever he sees a picture of himself from the nineties. Which is really, really funny. Both the picture and the freaking out.

Greatest. Show. Ever.

One for the Scrapbook
CJ sure has posted a lot today, but he seemed to overlook one of his favorite subjects. The phenomonon that occurs when old people, cars, and buildings meet (with great velocity and force). With catches like these my underdog stock must be rising. Maybe I'll have a bloggie on my shelf after all.

Dag Nabbit!
I had a huge freaking post up about my new favorite show, the Surreal Life on the WB. Then I lost it. I will confer with my notes and give you all a play-by-play on the greatest show ever tonight. Oh yeah.

Putting the Party back in the G.O.P
JerseyGOP.com is bringing back the rock with their Republican babe of the week contest. Oh yeah, out come the conservative hotties baby.

Daily game... one day late!
Since I forgot to post a Daily Game yesterday, I will bring out a sweet one for today. None of these crappy games of yore. This one is called Egg Run. The object is to slingshot the egg through the different levels in as few of turns as possible. It is pretty addicting. Plus, it's a beta, so you can be cool and tell all your friends you are beta testing some video game.

Holy Crap! Mars rules!
Here is the first full 360 degree quicktime panaroma of Mars that I have come across. Very, very cool picture.

Will I win a bloggie?
The answer coming back is a definitive No. In fact, most people probably have a better chance than I do of winning. Even people that don't maintain a weblog. See what your chances are here. I scored 30 percent.

Area man turns himself into cyborg
Crazy Steve Mann, a professor from the Great White North, has been wearing a camera style cyborg eyepiece for years now. From what I gathered from the article, he pretty much just walks around trying to piss people off. Jerk. Interesting article, though.

Fish fry best at mysterious men's club!
I think I should write headlines for a living. Send me a nickel and I will write one for you on the topic of my choosing. Oh, and here is a free link to an outdated page about some folks that attempted to visit and rank all of the fish frys in the greater Madison area. (He he... I say 'greater Madison' like Madison is some soret of metro area or something.)

Charles & Ray Eames... Hot.
Minoru Yamasaki... Not. Welcome to Archibot HotOrNot! Your one and only stop for quality, unbiased peer architecture reviews. I like to skew the scores with random numbers. Yeah!

More on Urban Exploring
An excellent cite, replete with pictures, on exploring in the Twin Cities area is none other than that of the Action Squad. This site has it all. Crazy shrines on Nicollet Island? Check. Underground University steam tunnels? Check. Code of conduct?!? Check... to the extreme!

Things a librarian gets asked
...whilst at the library. Updated daily. Some of my favorites include "Ain't you got nothin' with Notepad or Wordpad?" and "That man's be on his cell phone for thirty minutes.", which is less of a question and more of a complaint by some other patron.

PGS is leaving the Onion
Yes. Pathetic Geek Stories is leaving the Onion and branching out on the wonderful medium that is the Web. Over on the site one can check out the weekly comic, peruse the archive and submit their own stories.

Movie Review: The Italian Job.
The first half was pretty solid, but the second was a little shakey. I know it is supposed to be an action movie, and therefore requires a little suspension of belief, but come on. How they chose the correct armored van was recoculous.

Update: Crazy Video Station employees
Remember when I said that at Video Station there are these two crazy employees, a big dude that reminds me of Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons and a little guy who always wears big turtleneck sweaters and reads anime? Well, the other day both guys were working and anime-guy's beeper keeps going off. Then he busts out, in his loudest, most Grover-like voice, "My girlfriend keeps paging me!" To which comic book guy responds, "Like. Too much information please."

I love those guys.

Amazon customer service...
I like it, but until now I have never been able to call them up myself. Try reaching Amazon customer service by dialing 800-201-7575, from Kevin Kelly's Cool Tools website.